Lloyd’s of London, the world’s most reputable insurance corporation, has announced it will be insuring real estate tycoon Throck Morton’s right hand for $20 million. Throck Morton has been back and forth as the richest man in the world with both Warren Buffett and Bill Gates. His handshake has been so successful at sealing deals that it led his company Throck Morton Industries to pursue insuring his “shaking” hand.

                                                                        

Throck Morton Industries spokesman Artie Basslemardorf  told us, “Outside Donald Trump and Throck Morton no one has a handshake that locks down a deal so fast. It’s also a pretty firm handshake too.”

 

 

The deal also stipulates that Throck cannot do some activities such as rock climbing. “Sure it takes the fun out of being able to slap people,” stated Throck “But I shouldn’t be doing some of the things on their list anyway…like camel racing, arm wrestling Jennifer Aniston, or ‘cheese chasing’ in Cotswalds with John Stamos. What kind of sport involves chasing a ball of cheese down a steep hill anyway? Let’s just say the Scotch whiskey in that town is delicious.”

 

 

Throck Morton’s new forty story office building shaped like a monkey opens in Dubai closer to December.

 

 

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